Mom and I just got home from grocery shopping. I actually like grocery shopping, especially when it’s not so busy and we have time. Anyway, at the store there was some kid with her mom. The kid was three or four years old, maybe. She was sitting in the fold out kiddy seat and watched her mom put stuff in the cart. Then she turned around and picked a bunch of scallions (at least I think that’s what they were) up from the cart. When the mother saw it, she yanked them from her daughter’s hands and hissed: “Take your dirty fingers off that!” before throwing the scallions back in the cart and proceeding shopping.
I froze and had to blink back tears. Such chilling words. I heard them in my mother’s voice. I heard those exact words so often, and they are so cold and embarrassing. They literally froze me to the spot with my heart pounding and me feeling hot and cold at the same time.
My mom noticed, put me between herself and our cart and, after making sure I had seen and recognized her, hugged me – very calm, like it wasn’t a big deal at all. In a soft voice she told me that we were in the supermarket, that I was with her and what we had done so far and were up to next and after a while I calmed down. Even so, we finished shopping in a glum mood and I was glad when we were out and finally arrived back home.
I still feel shaken. Like when you startle over someone standing in the corner, only to realize it was a floor lamp, so you’re not afraid anymore, but still on adrenaline from the jump it gave you. I picked new hairclips at the store but can’t focus on enjoying them yet.
Anyway, looking out the window I saw the sky and found something nice on a crappy day. Fitting, too. Even when the planes are long gone, the sky is still scarry.