I can’t think

Just what the title says, really. I can’t think. Since days I feel like my ability to think is getting slowly snowed in. Just now my mom asked me how I would feel about going to the mall later today. And what does my mind do? It goes “mall . . . mall . . . mall . . . shopping . . . mall . . . do I want that . . . mall . . . “ and that’s it. Insert me pulling the thought back up from a black, sticky bog every time you see the tree dots.

I want to pull my thoughts together so bad, but it’s so hard. Has gotten increasingly harder for some days now, actually. Same with writing for my blog. It takes me so long to write a post, it’s ridiculous. Whenever I think I have found a good thought, it slips away again, back down into muddy, murky waters and I have to stick my arm back in and grope around in the dirt until I get a hold of it again and can pull it up for another brief moment to look at it.

I guess it’s some kind of dissociation going on. Or maybe not. I don’t know. I want it to stop.  😦

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kat
    Dec 08, 2012 @ 17:39:55

    I know exactly what you are talking about. It is my norm. I always thought it must be depression–never thought it might be dissociation. But it makes sense that it could be that. Hope your brain unfogs soon.

  2. Lola
    Dec 08, 2012 @ 17:57:29

    Thank you for your words and the good wish! But very sorry to hear that it’s your norm. 😦 It sucks enough to have spells of it. I really hope it gets better for you!

    I suppose depression can have the same effect on thoughts, slowing them down and freezing them. For me dissociation is more likely because that’s what I’m struggling with quite a bit at the moment, getting lost in it myself and also losing my thoughts. Ah well, whatever it is, I hope our brains unfog soon, too!

  3. gypsy116
    Dec 08, 2012 @ 20:49:09

    I can relate to this a lot right now. I hope things start getting easier for you soon.

    • Lola
      Dec 08, 2012 @ 21:06:36

      Thank you, Gypsy. 🙂 I’m sorry you can relate, though. I hope it’s getting easier for you soon, too!! I suppose I will be through the worst of it once Christmas and all is over.

  4. gypsy116
    Dec 08, 2012 @ 21:09:14

    Welcome. This happens a lot when Im doing something new, so I just hope it doesnt get worse. Fingers crossed that you dont get any worse before Christmas.

    • Lola
      Dec 08, 2012 @ 21:11:35

      Thank you! I hope you get used to the new stuff soon, so that it gets better for you. For myself I hope that once at least my birthday is over it will let up a little again.

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