I don’t do sick well

I am unwell today. I started out feeling okay-ish, but got worse as the day progressed. Not really 100% ill, no fever and no other definite sign of illness, but not well either. My head hurts, my belly aches and I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It’s driving me crazy. I am having the hardest time with it. I am whiny and irritable and clingy. I wish I could curl up under a blanket and get cuddled all day long and that someone could make all the unpleasantness go away.


At the same time the getting fussed over part is good. I’m such a sucker for attention, it’s pathetic. I wish I could handle being unwell a little better, but all I do is grouch and moan and cry, craving attention and chicken soup, a hot water bottle and my mom. I guess I don’t do sick very well at all.  As in coping skills: zero. Don’t know if that is BPD or just me being ill-prepared for life. 😦


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bourbon
    Dec 11, 2012 @ 02:05:27

    Aww, I hope you feel better soon! xx

    • Lola
      Dec 13, 2012 @ 09:27:55

      Thank you, Bourbon! 🙂 “Soon” turned out the be a relative term. Before it got better it got worse, so I couldn’t even come here and read your reply. But I’m better now, thankfully.

  2. jenniburkeyoga
    Dec 11, 2012 @ 13:53:10

    I nominated you for the Liebster award! I think what you are doing is an amazing thing! Check out the instructions on my blog to ‘accept’… http://jenniburkeyoga.wordpress.com/2012/12/11/blog-award-whats-that-mean/

  3. gypsy116
    Dec 12, 2012 @ 01:31:54

    I hope you feel better soon. Im sick too 😦 As far as it being a BPD thing though, I dont know. I do horribly if its a stomach thing, but thats my emetophobia, but with anything else I dont think I complain that much. I have a hard time admitting that Im sick, I kind of just suck it up and try to do what Id normally do, which isnt the best idea. I dont know. Anyway, again, I hope you feel better soon.

    • Lola
      Dec 13, 2012 @ 09:35:33

      Thank you, Gypsy! 🙂 I’m sorry to hear you are sick as well. 😦 I hope you are better already? I am finally – after two days of the yuckiest of yuck – well enough to come back to my blog. Phew. As for the complaining, yeah, I guess that’s more me than BPD. Or maybe my kind of BPD? I do get abandonment issues over being sick, so maybe that’s the BPD part with me. But maybe your sucking it up is just another way of coping with that? Do you feel like you shouldn’t be sick and are unduly bothering people with your feeling bad? That’s what causes me to be whiny and clingy, ’cause I’m afraid if I’m not everyone will not even take notice and just leave me to die a miserable death by myself. (Okay, I’m slightly exaggerating. But only slightly. 😉 ) I figure sucking it up could be another way of avoiding abandonment over being unwell, like by not bothering anyone in the first place? Or of course, it’s something different altogether for you! 😉

      • gypsy116
        Dec 14, 2012 @ 20:01:33

        Im glad to hear that youre feeling better. Im still not feeling great but much better than I was. You know, I think youre exactly right. I get sick a lot, eating disorders (or depression and anxiety) arent great for the immune system, and I feel like people dont believe that Im actually sick. So, I suck it up and dont be sick and that lessens the fear of people leaving because they think Im making things up for attention or something. Makes sense. Thanks Lola.

    • Lola
      Dec 15, 2012 @ 09:24:04

      Oh, sorry to hear you’re still not feeling great, but good that you are at least better than you were. My, and how I can relate to the thought that people might not actually believe that I am really sick! I suppose that greatly contributes to my whining so much, and, hm, I admit it, to exaggerating a little at times – it’s because I’m afraid otherwise they won’t take it seriously enough! So it seems like we have found two different ways to cope with quite similar feelings. My way of coping makes me obnoxious to others, yours is probably hard because you tend to suffer in silence (I would imagine). 😦 So here’s to both of us finding healthier ways to cope with the stress of being sick, and to you going back to feeling good really soon!!

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