A Project for 2013

With the world apparently (and thankfully) not ending, I have started to think ahead a little towards next year.

I’m not really one to make resolutions at the turn of the year – or well, I’m probably not good at making resolutions, period. I have trouble predicting how I am going to behave later today, so making resolutions about stuff that lies even farther in the future would probably only mean setting myself up for disappointment by overcharging my abilities. So I won’t. No promises, no nothing.

But having said that, one thing I really do want to tackle next year is working on overcoming at least some of the repercussions that my abusive childhood has left me with. For this purpose I have decided to check out “The Sexual Healing Journey” by Wendy Maltz, because my therapist suggested I have a look at it. Also because I guess if I wait for my own inner inspiration to deal with my experiences of sexual abuse to just magically hit me, I’ll probably be waiting for a long time to come. And quite honestly, I have grown sick of myself in this regard by now, sick of my attitudes and behavior, sick of getting triggered and feeling like shit over it – which might be a good sign that maybe the time has come to carefully face those demons.


So there you go, my notebook is ready, my favorite pen, too, and I am ready to have a look at the book. Probably only after the holidays, because it would be a bit much to deal with anything sexual on top of the whole Christmas thing, but hey, I figured I might as well make it a bit harder for myself to chicken out by posting about it and calling it a project for 2013.

I plan on posting about my experiences as I go along. Or, in case I end up not liking the book, I’ll write down what I don’t like about it and why. So I suppose it is a resolution of sorts, after all. Which means I managed to contradict myself within one and the same post. But then, what else is new.

Here’s to sticking to resolutions and being a walking contradiction!


24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. simplybluey
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 14:59:58

    I will be interested in follow your progress on this journey.

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 15:05:01

      Thank you! Right now I am quite curious myself to learn what kind of journey this is going to be, but having someone else interested is one more reason to actually start the journey once the holidays are over (and not just talking about it beforehand, when it’s still a thing of the future and thus safe). So thank you for that! 🙂

  2. nobodysreadingme
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 16:15:08

    I’m very reluctant to comment here, since it might be construed as some odd prurience or weird sexual thing. I can only assure you it’s not. You can choose to trust me on this, or choose not to. I reckon you’ll trust me But I could be well off the target here..
    I’m not looking forward to it at all. But I am looking forward to yet more evidence of your bravery. And your curiosity.
    Good luck

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 21:17:39

      Yes, I think I trust you on this. So thank you for – despite the awkwardness – leaving me such a kind comment. And thanks for the good luck wish. I can use it.

  3. weordmyndum
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 16:37:46

    I’ve read a bunch of books on sexual abuse, but that’s not one I’m familiar with. I’ll be interested to hear what you think of it.

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 21:21:54

      Thanks for being interested! 🙂 So far I have only turned the first couple of pages to have a cursory peek, and it seems to at least start out okay. As soon as I have looked at more, I’ll post about it!

  4. prideinmadness
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 18:20:53

    Great idea! I’m going to try and use my DBT workbook more. I stopped for some reason.

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 21:26:17

      Hey, good idea to use your DBT workbook more (assuming you find it helpful, that is 😉 ) – gee, and how I know about stopping things for some reason or other. I hope I will manage with this book, and I hope that by commiting to posting about it, I’ll have an extra reason to keep remembering my project! lol! Good luck with the DBT workbook!

  5. gypsy116
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 20:55:49

    Good for you Lola, and good luck 🙂

  6. Trackback: Who needs normal? | ☠ help, I'm {Breathing} ☠
  7. C.S. Zeimet
    Dec 22, 2012 @ 18:56:40

    Good luck Lola. 🙂 I got me some goals too. 🙂

  8. Trackback: The Sexual Healing Journey begins « Who needs normal?!
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  10. Trackback: The Sexual Healing Journey, Chapter 3, Part 1 « Who needs normal?!
  11. Trackback: The Sexual Healing Journey, Chapter 3, Part 2 « Who needs normal?!
  12. Trackback: The Sexual Healing Journey, Chapter 3, Part 3 « Who needs normal?!
  13. Trackback: The Sexual Healing Journey, Chapter 4 « Who needs normal?!
  14. Trackback: The Sexual Healing Journey, Chapter 5 « Who needs normal?!
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