How I am going to handle awards

I have received two blog award nominations so far and really appreciate it. In fact I just needed to go back to this sentence and add that I might make that three. And I want to thank you all very, very much for thinking of me. For coming here and enjoying what I write. For wanting to acknowledge of it by giving me an award.

As I am new to blogging, I was unfamiliar with how awards work, but have since learned that they come with rules. They usually seem to be:

  1. thank person who awarded you
  2. share x number of things about yourself
  3. pass award on to x number of people
  4. then display award picture on your site.

And while I really appreciate it a lot to be thought of and considered worthy of an award, those rules kind of spoil the fun for me. Especially the ‘pass on to x number of people’ part. It seems forced and to my mind it gives way to randomness. It makes me suspicious that people may have only nominated me because they HAD to find x people to pass it on to, in order to claim the award for themselves.

I am aware that certainly most of you will not just randomly pick people! In fact Duncan from nobodysreadingme was even so considerate to ask me first if I want to get a Blog of the Year nomination. And I do appreciate that very, very much. I put lots of thought into my posts, all of my posts, and I like getting that acknowledged.

At the same time I dislike that the awards come with rules. I don’t think they should work that way. I believe that if you give an award to someone, then s/he should not be supposed to do something first in order to accept it. After all, aren’t awards awarded for something you have already done? And I believe that the reason for giving someone an award should not be that some rules compel you to pass it on. The reason for giving someone an award should solely be that you like their blog, think they have meaningful things to say, enjoy what they write or whatever and want to let them know they are appreAwardFreeBlog1ciated.

That’s why I have come to the decision that I don’t want to “do” awards that require me to comply with a set of rules first. My blog will be free of those, because I am resistant to rules that I find silly.

I do appreciate acknowledgement, though. So if anyone wants to give me a true award, one with no strings attached, go ahead. I might just make up an own award to give to people I find inspiring, whose blogs I enjoy visiting and who I think are being good people. An award that doesn’t require anyone to do anything.

And if you are from the traditional rule-bound awards crowd, don’t feel bad. It’s fine if you have fun with the way the awards work. I do appreciate nominations for traditional awards, too, as long as they are honest and well-thought-about and intentional (versus random because in order to accept, you have to come up with enough people to pass the award on to and figured ‘well, why not Lola, she’s as good as anyone’). I am just not going to “do” them, because hey, you either give it to me or you don’t, but I dislike getting something dangled in front of my nose that aims at making me do something that I don’t find sensible. 😉

Okay, so that’s settled then. Cheers!

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. nobodysreadingme
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 12:04:17

    Cool by me. I know what you mean about the rules, though the one I’ve been stuck up for seems to not need the ‘x people’ thing.
    I know that in t e cosmic scheme of things they don’t mean a fiddler’s damn anyway. But I wanted to offer you the chance.
    I’ll keep on reblogging anything that I feels warrants it.
    I hope you manage to stay calm in your sleep deprived state. It makes me carabby as hell. Which is bad news for the rest of the world, because with my sleep patterns I must be crabby just about all the time.

    Here’s an award for you, costs you nothing and it’s without strings
    I reckon your blog is the most moving I’ve come across. So you can have my MOST MOVING BLOG award

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 14:05:45

      Thank you very much! ❤
      I feel honored and gladly accept your MOST MOVING BLOG award, Duncan. 🙂

      • nobodysreadingme
        Dec 21, 2012 @ 14:07:49

        I wouldn’t have awarded it if your blog didn’t merit it:-)

        • Lola
          Dec 21, 2012 @ 14:09:33

          Thank you!

          • nobodysreadingme
            Dec 21, 2012 @ 14:17:19

            I’ll tell you what I like about this blog. As i say it’s hard to LIKE like, but I’m sure you know what I mean.
            There’s not a hint of self pity in here. Not a shred. It’s very straightforward, ‘This is what my life is like’ never ‘Oh woe is me, life dealt me a bad hand didn’t it?’
            And it’s well written, articulate, structured. I find some, but not all, of the stream of consciousness blogs self indulgent and lacking any real insight.
            Often makes me uneasy, but that’s not a bad thing.

            • Lola
              Dec 21, 2012 @ 14:55:31

              See, that’s exactly what I like about genuine no-strings awards, vs. something pre-made that gets passed on to x people because “the rules” say so: the likelihood that it ends up being personal and meaningful is greatly increased.

              Thank you very much for the kind words. I am glad I do not come across self-pitying, because while I happen pity myself not even that infrequently, my mom would probably hit me over the head with a frying pan (figuratively 😉 ) if lamenting my fate was what I used my blog for. I know others are not as fortunate, but I have people in real life (well, primarily her) to help me deal with my feelings of unfairness and self-pity, so I don’t need to turn here for that. Actually the one rule we set up for my blogging is that it’s ultimately not a purpose in itself, but part of my journey towards recovery. So that’s what I use it for. For reflecting upon what is, as an occasion to put my thoughts into words, to gain insights and to have a voice, and if anyone else finds something useful or thought-inspiring here along the way, all the better. So that’s why I’m blogging. I guess the uneasiness comes with the subject. Trust me, those things make me uneasy, too, and often uneasy to share them. But they’re part of the experience, so it wouldn’t be honest to leave them out, I figure. But I’m rambling. All I really wanted to say is thanks! 🙂

  2. nobodysreadingme
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 15:26:10

    Rambling? Oh no. Not at all.
    As I think i may have mentioned I use my blog to work things out too. When I’m feeling bad (and i make no secret of the fact I have bad days, but I don’t ram this down people’s throats) I let people know. Then I write something funny, because that’s my way of dealing with things.
    I worried at first this might be dishonest. But then I decided that if I tell people I’m having a bad one, then can impart a few laughs or smiles, then I’ve done a good job
    So strangely, although our two blogs are very very different in tone and content, they serve the same purpose.
    I’m not fishing for compliments here, but I genuinely do not know why you follow me. I’m very pleased that you do, but I write a lot of arrant nonsense, apart from occasional forays into the rational. Petra, My having a rant about the WBC yesterday. But mainly it’s nonsense.
    I’m not as brave as you are.
    Maybe I am, but in a different way. I use humour to defuse the bad times. You are more head-on. But we’re both doing the same thing, just doing it differently. If that makes any sense at all

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 21:10:01

      Yes, it makes sense. It’s really interesting that two blogs that are so different one one level, are so similar on another at the same time. True of many things in life, I come to find more and more often these days, that things that look nothing alike at first glance, are actually not as different as they look under closer scrutiny.

      As for why I chose to follow you, your post about Petra was the reason, really. I read it and found it really touching that you would do such a kind thing for someone you didn’t even know. Then I read some more and found myself smirking at stuff, and found entries that sound like you are a decent guy with, you know, morals and all that, but not in the holier-than-though way, just in the real-life way, still using words like bugger at the same time. I liked that. 🙂

  3. gypsy116
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 20:53:36

    A lot of people accept without doing the rules, like if they dont have the time or whatever. I dont think the point is really to be an award. I mean, the idea is to let other bloggers know that you appreciate them, but I think the idea behind the so called awards, is more to bring more awareness to blogs out there that others might not have seen yet, and also the whole 7 things about you part is there just as a way for people to get to know each other better.
    All of that being said, I totally get where youre coming from. I used to do all of the awards I was nominated for, but its really time consuming, so now I usually just publicly thank whoever nominated me, because I do appreciate it, and do the 7 things about me part (because I enjoy the randomness of it), and occasionally, ill nominate others if I have time. I know a lot of people that dont do them at all, for reasons similar to yours, and lots of others too, so whatever youre comfortable with. Sorry, this comment was so rambley.

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 21:38:55

      No problem at all about a rambley comment! 🙂 I see what you mean about awards not always being meant to actually be an award, but more of a social thing to get to know other people better, or to introduce other people to blogs they haven’t yet seen. I guess they are good for that purpose, and I certainly understand it if people enjoy the whole awards thing. I guess it’s just not so much down my alley, because I’m quite sensitive to praise and criticism and while one one hand it makes me happy to get awarded something, it also makes me suspocious when I learn the other person kind of had to find people to nominate because it’s a rule. Me being quirky and upset by rules that I can construe into something to feel bad over, I suppose. 😉 So I thought I’d let people know that while I appreciate it when someone considers me, I’m not fond of the whole rules thing and don’t not do them because I want to ignore them or anything, but just because I don’t like the rules so much.

      That said, the randomness part about the 7 or whatever else number facts is okay with me, too. I enjoy reading information about people and don’t mind sharing those things about me either. In fact it’s been a while since I did that, so I might just have a new go one of these days! 😀

      • gypsy116
        Dec 21, 2012 @ 22:57:41

        All of that totally makes sense to me, I could definitely see how rules like that might be a bit triggering of thoughts like that.

  4. Bourbon
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 21:10:12

    Absolutely. My blog is award free altogether but I need to dig out my own personal Bourbon Badge of Brilliance and give that to more people (it comes with no rules ;)) xx

    • Lola
      Dec 21, 2012 @ 21:42:36

      Hey, the Bourbon Badge of Brilliance, that sounds awesome, just as the no rules part! Just a genuine acknowledgement, I really like that. I’ll have to come up with something catchy and clever like that, too. 😀

  5. wellcallmecrazy
    Dec 22, 2012 @ 01:46:50

    I want to officially state that when I nominated you, it was motivated by admiration and respect. I would never pass on an award just because the rules said I had to nominate “x” number of people. I respect your decision regarding acceptance of awards and feel that your decision illustrates a step in your recovery because it came from introspection and demonstrates a boundary. Keep on going.

    • Lola
      Dec 26, 2012 @ 12:29:32

      Thank you very much. 🙂 I figured you nominated me because you meant it, not because you had to nominate people. And I really appreciate the nomination and the acknowledgement. But yeah, I gave the whole thing good thought and I suppose you’re right, it’s a boundary! I hadn’t even thought of it that way, but you are right! And since I’m not generally good with boundaries, I figure you’re also right that it is, indeed, a step towards recovery! Thanks for pointing that out! 🙂

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