With the new year just around the bend, it’s a good time to stop and reflect upon the old year. I found some questions and thought it would be fun to answer them. WordPress also arranged some 2012 blog stats, that I took screenshots of to share with you all below the questions. Anyway, here are the questions:
1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
That my family is still my family. My biggest fear about them changing their mind and continuing their lives without me didn’t come true. They continued to put up with me, that’s the single best thing that happened.
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Probably my sister’s wedding earlier this year. I’ve never been to a wedding before, it was away from home, everything unfamiliar, all those people I’ve never seen, quite some drama on my part, it was very challenging. I’m glad it’s over and done with and nobody else is to marry any time soon.
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
Blogging, probably. I started in October and didn’t really know what to expect. I just wanted a space and a reason to bring my thoughts together for. And it turns out I really enjoy it. It’s also the closest thing to a social life outside family that I have gotten, and I didn’t expect that.
4. Pick three words to describe your 2012.
Interesting – chaotic – thought-provoking.
5. What were the best books you read this year?
Oh gosh, I’m a poor reader so I don’t tend to read books. Mom started reading ‘The Children from Noisy Village’ to me and I really liked that, though. So that’s probably the best book this year.
6. With whom was your most valuable relationship?
With my mom. She is the one person I couldn’t live without. I need her to guide me through my life, to keep me sane, to keep me safe and to just be there and love me. Without her I’d die. Yeah, and I know this is not the healthiest attitude for a grown-up person to have, but I am no grown-up person.
7. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
I learned to pause and reflect more. I used to be all emotion when I felt something, all caught up in the feelings and the thoughts that went with them, unable to see beyond or back or any alternative. But I learned to keep two streams of consciousness going. One that feels the emotion and thinks the related thoughts, and one that stays kind of aware that even when it feels like the only way to see things, this might not necessarily BE the only and/or most appropriate way to react.
8. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
Hm. I don’t know. Spiritually. Now that’s difficult. Maybe the closest thing to spiritual growth is that I learned to value virtues. Often my emotions still get in the way of acting accordingly, but at least living by virtues like honesty, acceptance, compassion, kindness, generosity, integrity, patience etc. has started to look attractive and like something I want to have in my life in order to be happy and feel whole and stuff. Is that spiritual? I don’t know.
9. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
Uhhhmmm… even harder. I’d like to grow a couple of inches taller, but that’s just not happening anymore. I don’t think I grew physically in any other way.
10. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I feel like through blogging I’ve become a little better at relating to other people. I seriously didn’t think I could do interactive stuff like comments very well, because in real life I am not able to cope with this kind of spontaneity, with people saying something to me, very well at all. But I discovered that I can cope with the comments that come up when blogging fairly well. So maybe I’m not such a total failure with people after all, and being able to see that feels like growth of sorts.
11. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Probably the moments when I dissociated over small stuff, because I couldn’t cope. It steals large parts of the day when I am absorbed into the fog of dissociation, not noticing stuff, not able to be truly myself when reacting, not able to think properly, not able to process and just live my life. I suppose it serves a purpose, otherwise it wouldn’t be there, but it feels like a waste of time.
12. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Making active efforts to get my mental health into a better condition. Also blogging about it. Writing. Drawing. Coping with stuff that came up. Those were the best ways that I used my time.
13. What is your biggest wish for 2013
My truly biggest wish for 2013 would be for society to do a major turn away from the present profit- and results-orientation with little tolerance for deviant ways of thinking, feeling and behaving, if they don’t lead to more money being made. I wish for society to turn towards truly caring for one another on a larger scale, towards everyone becoming aware of their joint responsibility for everyone within the society and where kindness, righteousness and tolerance take priority over money. I can dream, right. My biggest personal wish for 2013 would be to keep on improving my mental health and for my family to keep on wanting to have me around.
I also want to give everyone a heartfelt THANK YOU for 4.161 views since I started the blog in October, for a total of 588 comments (including my own) and 96 followers. I’ve gotten views from 58 different countries, which I find totally amazing.
Just the same thank you for all of your awesome blogs that I enjoy visiting every day and for sharing your journeys.
Special thanks go to you, nobodysreadinme, prideinmadness, gypsy116, vwoopwvoop and finallyamanda for all your comments. 🙂 (If you haven’t checked out their blogs yet, they are all worth a good look!) And thank you just the same for everyone else who commented. I really appreciate reading your thoughts, every single one. All the comments I got have been kind and nice. Thank you for that.