I’m gonna get up and try, try, try!

Yeah, that’s me singing my own version of P!nk. And it’s me being stubborn and refusing to cave in. Refusing to be defeated. Refusing to be a victim. Refusing to be a slave of my history.

I had a crappy New Year’s Eve! Midnight gave me a flashback and I screamed my heart out. I watched dad’s fireworks from inside the house with mom by my side because I couldn’t stand going outside in the dark, or being alone. – So, so what! I’m still a rock star!

Fuck you, abuse! – Fuck you, stepfather! – Fuck you, mother! – Fuck you, mental health issues!

You can knock me over and kick me down, but you can not prevent me from getting up again, from rising! I survived this far, I’m not going to give up now! I’m prepared and ready to fight. Not with violence or dirty tricks, like you did and still do.

No, I’m going to fight by being disobedient to your sick rules.


I’m going to fight back by being strong-willed. By holding on to what’s good and right. By not accepting to keep playing by your rules. By reclaiming myself. By using my skills and resources and support. And by getting up one more time than I fall, even when I fall a lot.

I’m gonna get up and try, try, try!

So despite the rocky night, I’m feeling good and all-in-all it was a good start into the New Year. Because I got up. Because I am determined to make it a GOOD year for myself! I wish you all a very good year, too! Get for yourself the best possible 2013!


18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. prideinmadness
    Jan 01, 2013 @ 14:41:30

    I tried to find the commercial because I find it powerful but I’ll have to make do without.

    In this commercial this young woman walks up to the screen as a voice over describes how many lives HPV effects a year. The young woman then proceeds to scream and punches through an until then invisible glass wall, which symbolizes fighting HPV. That’s the image I think of when I’m tackling what mental health stuff is going on with me. I’m smashing through that glass wall and I’m saying fuck you!

    Keep that image of that fist you drew in your mind! You can fight whatever is going on!

  2. texylady
    Jan 01, 2013 @ 18:49:07

    Styrofoam cups lined up and a little bat work nicely too. You can name each cup as you whack it. I especially like it when one rolls away before it is smashed. I hunt it down and beat it into submission. Take that, and that, and that, heh heh heh.

  3. Clayton
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 04:15:48

    Hell yeah!

  4. nobodysreadingme
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 10:19:46

    Way to go. If good wishes and thoughts of encouragement can help, consider your self helped.

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