What puts meaning into my life?

I have been skyping with my oldest sister yesterday night. We’ve been talking about how I’m struggling with all this extra shit every Christmas and New Years’ and I explained a little about how it felt. She listened and then asked me ‘That sounds so hard, what makes it worth it?” She is direct like that.

I was cross with her for catching me off-guard with the question, and because I thought it sounded criticizing, somehow. So I didn’t reply, but kept thinking about the question anyway. What makes life worth the crap? Worth the pain? Worth the seemingly unending struggle?

I don’t really know for sure, but something makes it worth it. Something makes it meaningful.

I’m wondering what it is. I need to go back to the question, it seems like it would be beneficial to know. Right now I only have this vague feeling that somehow it’s worth the struggle. I didn’t always feel this way, but at the moment I do.

I really need to give it some more thought.

In the meantime, I made another snapshot of my Christmas pressie doll. Just because I felt like it. I think she’s pretty. She also smiles like maybe she knows the answer to my question. If only I could figure out how to make her talk. 😉

Lola's doll

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mightyplans
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 20:37:39

    John 3:16 is what makes it worth it. I will never preach to you… ever… but… Sweetie, that has gotten me through some things that would make even your hair curl. 🙂
    Anyway… on other sides, you have family that loves you and people (and myself) here who care to see you do well.
    And YOU are what’s worth it. As idiotic and cleche as that sounds, it took me many years to figure that one out and even I have lost sight of that recently myself. 🙂 So your post helped me too.
    xo

    • Lola
      Jan 02, 2013 @ 20:45:20

      Thank you for the kind words, mightyplans! 🙂 You’re right, my family is probably a big part of what makes it worth it and what puts meaning into my life. Well, and I am what what’s worth it, too, I suppose, even when that’s the hardest one to acknowledge. Thank you for reminding me! Hey, and I’m extra happy if I helped you, too, in any way! 🙂

  2. Clayton
    Jan 03, 2013 @ 01:41:43

    Wow you did a ton of posts today. 🙂 Good job 🙂

    This is an interesting question. :/

    • Lola
      Jan 03, 2013 @ 06:40:01

      Yeah, I really did post a ton today, didn’t I?! :-/ I guess I’m on a little New Year’s high or something. 🙂 😉

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