10 Things I Really Don’t Like

After yesterday’s 10 Things I Really like, I figure it makes sense to do ten things I don’t like also. I won’t name the no-brainer obvious ones, like ‘war’ or ‘poverty’ or ‘people doing mean things’, even when I really dislike those things a LOT, because if I named all those a list of ten wouldn’t really suffice. I’ll name annoyances that are more everyday and seemingly small, but nonetheless much disliked by me instead.


  • Having this really awesome thing to tell, and nobody to listen.

I hate it when that happens. I have a good idea, or something cool happened and I want to tell mom, but she’s on the phone or busy with something else. It’s especially nasty when it’s something that kind of lives with the energy of the moment, so that when later mom asks “what was it that you wanted to tell me”, I feel all like “meh, forget it, it’s over”.

  • Waking up from sleep, ready to start the day, and realizing it’s the middle of the night.

This one sucks real bad. Everyone is still asleep, I feel uneasy alone in the dark, I know I really should go back to sleep, but I’m wide awake, like it was morning already. There’s nowhere to go, because I freak wandering through the house by myself at night, I can’t just go back to sleep either, and it’s still forever until morning. I usually take my notebook and go sit by mom’s side, surfing the internet while she sleeps, but it still sucks.

  • Going to get that last piece of candy that I saved, then realizing I already ate it.

The disappointing moment when I look at my candy hideaway, pleasantly anticipating a yummy treat, then finding the hideaway empty. What a bummer. Double bummer when a vague memory of having unwrapped and eaten the candy returns and I can’t even blame anyone else.

  • Being the only one to laugh about my joke.

Okay, so maybe I’m easily amused, but I find my knock-knock jokes funny. Not so funny when nobody else does. I mean, come on, they’re funny. Kinda. Okay, so maybe not to everyone, but can you at least smirk? Please?

  • Everyone having something to do while I am bored.

Happens very often, but that doesn’t make it any nicer. Everyone is busy with something, they are content with what they do – but I am endlessly bored. It’s not my fault if I then go and annoy them, or is it?! After all, it really sucks to be bored so bad I might die from it, and nobody even sharing the pain.

  • Anyone who grows a beard and sports a Justin Bieber hairstyle.

You know, the awful sideways swept bangs-in-the-eyes thing. Especially when they then also do the hair flip every five seconds. Okay, I know it’s their hair, not mine, but it looks ridiculous. Young teenage boys can still pull it off and manage to look halfway cute, but if you have to shave in the morning, just . . . don’t do it. It doesn’t have an insta-cool effect. At all. I promise. ‘kay?!

  • Listening to P!nk on the radio and the song fading out before it’s over.

Seriously! If you don’t have enough time to play the whole song, why not pick a shorter one? Why fade it out before it’s over? I mean when you go to a restaurant the server doesn’t pull the old plate away before you’re finished eating either, or does he?! It’s so annoying when I sit in the car and one of my favorite songs plays and then it just ends before it’s over. NOT GOOD!

  • People who don’t get it, but think they do.

Oh, that’s so terrible when it happens. I’ve had it happen a lot with past therapists. You know, those situations where you explain something, and the other person goes “ah, yes, I totally understand” and you realize no, they don’t. They have it wrong. And you point it out, as politely as you can (naturally 😉 ) and the other person still thinks she totally got it, no matter what you do. Can you spell frustration?!?!?!

  • Having bought something and then finding it for sale at a bargain price a day later.

Needs no explaining. At all.

  • When you try to get something to work over and over again and then someone else comes and manages at the first try.

Isn’t that so annoying?! You try to work something out, grow convinced it must be real tricky, and then someone else (for example your stupid brother) comes along, says with an air of superiority “hey, let me try” and you reluctantly let him have a shot, looking forward to seeing him fail just as miserably – and then he manages at the first try. I really hate it when that happens.


How about you? What do you really not like?

The kid who never played


The kid who never played. That’s me. The realization hit me yesterday afternoon. Mom and I had our quality time. I was too antsy to sit still and do something that required focus, so mom suggested we go upstairs on the attic and look around, like we sometimes do. I didn’t really want to do that either, but we went anyway.

The attic, you see, is not one of those creepy, dusty, dark places, but a fairly big space with a big gable window, looking down on the garden. There’s old furniture up there, stuff like dressers and armchairs, and shelves and chests, that kind of thing. That, and my siblings’ old toys.

Those are what I usually enjoy looking at. I kind of marvel that three kids would have had so many toys. I mean it’s like a small toy store. Barbie dolls, action heroes, a play kitchen, a tea set, Lego bricks, a doll house, baby toys, matchbox cars and lots of other things, all neatly stacked away.

Yesterday when we were up there and looked at the toys it was different than all other times before, though. Mom suggested we play with something and instantly I felt this weird kind of paralysis come over me. A strong feeling of ‘no, just looking’. I wanted to take one of the little cars that mom held out to me, but I couldn’t make my arm move. It was not a scary feeling, which I find interesting, because just thinking of being unable to move makes me freak, but it was kind of like I knew I was able to move in every other way, just not in the way required to take the toy. So I just stared at it and tried to will my arm to take it, but my arm and hand didn’t obey.

With it came a memory of me being in school. It must have been one of the low grades, like first grade or so, because there were toys. I remembered standing in front of a low shelf. There were puzzles and playdough and a small baby doll. In my memory I am standing there, looking at the things, wanting to take the baby doll, but finding myself unable to move in the same way that I just experienced with the car. So I just stared at the doll for a long time.

I am pretty certain that I never played. I have no single memory of me playing. I have no recollection of having toys, or of any significant toy that I was attached to. I don’t think I ever played by myself, and certainly not with other children. I have memories of watching children play, but not a single one of doing it myself. I am the kid who never played.

Mom eventually put the toy car into my hand, which broke the spell. We ended up playing car crash, by sitting opposite each other and giving the cars a push towards the middle, trying to make them crash. Not the world’s most creative game, but it was silly and fun. 🙂

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