So raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways!

Life can be so tricky. But so good, too.

I just had an could-have-been-one fight with mom because she said I need to clean up my room before I do any more fun things, like be on the computer. I really hate doing that, so I tried to negotiate my way out of it, but since she will only let me delay it two times and this was already the third time, that was not very successful. So what happened then? Did I grudgingly go to my room to pick up clothes and shove the mess back into its drawers like a good daughter would?

Not really. I was more like “you are such a stupid bitch, I told you I’d do it, why do you push me so, why don’t you ever trust me to do what I say” (yeah, why oh why doesn’t she? – Don’t laugh!)

Did it work? Did she leave me alone? (Okay, stop laughing, I mean it. 😉 )

Not really. She just gave me her ‘pull the other one’ look because she could already tell I was not really losing it, just extremely unwilling to get started and looking for a way to make it someone’s fault. See, from there on we can go two ways. She can get angry and disappointed and hurt that I called her a stupid bitch. This is the path to a big bad fight.

But that’s not what she does. Like, ever. Or at least almost. I call her a good many things when I’m angry, but it doesn’t really reflect what I think of her and we are both aware of that. She does not enjoy the name calling, but I do not enjoy getting reminded of annoying things either. Kind of fair. We share the misery.

She chose the other way to go, smiled and told me she loved me, too, and made a silly little game of dragging, trailing and shoving me upstairs. I kind of enjoyed that part. And while doing so suggested a million and one way to make it more fun. And even though I was all “no”, “bad idea”, “I hate that” and “don’t wanna” about it, I liked it when she suggested we listen to some music. So we listened to some P!nk.

And it turned into fun! Go figure. Go get someone, and then sing-scream the chorus of “Raise Your Glass” into each other’s faces while raising your fists in the air! Really, do it! You’ll be amazed at how much fun that is! Especially if you are someone who’s wrong in all the right ways, too! 😀

So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways, all my underdogs
We will never be, never be anything but loud
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks
Won’t you come on and come on and
Raise your glass!
Just come on and come on and
Raise your glass!

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Taking it easy today

Yesterday was a tough day, with all the thinking and writing about my sexual healing journey. I am okay, but I noticed I need to be careful when I ended up dissociating later in the day.

If you want a rather unusual glimpse at what can happen when I dissociate, here’s some dissociation art. I had just planned to draw a zentangle to calm down and focus, and it worked for the snail shell. Then I started with the little hearts. And kept drawing. And drawing. And drawing . . .

Dissociation Art

Pretty impressive. So today I’m going to take it easy. Focus on some good things. See if later I feel up to some journeying, but if not, I won’t and will rather wait another day. We’ll see. I really want to keep it positive and all that.

I hope you’re all having a good day today.

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