Stuck with the Sexual Healing Journey, but here’s the plan

Maybe you’ve noticed that it’s been quite a while since my last sexual healing journey post. The reason is that I’m a bit stuck and in a dilemma about what to do. On the one hand I’m stuck because this second part of the healing journey, the ‘making changes’ part, is less linear and I’m a bit overwhelmed because there are so many individual things within each chapter of the book that I don’t know which to tackle next and how. But I guess I can figure that out.

On the other hand, however, covering the ‘making changes’ part requires some more in-depth thinking and focusing on the sexual abuse itself, and I feel a bit uncomfortable making myself vulnerable to everyone’s eyes by describing those things. I’m a suspicious gal. I’m afraid people who don’t come to read here for good reasons, but because they have abusive mindsets themselves, might read about my experiences and get some sick kind of satisfaction out of it. I’d hate for the things that hurt me to be the jerk-off material for sickos.

So while I plan to continue, I  will password protect some of the upcoming Sexual Healing Journey posts. If you’d like to read them and I “know” you already from your blog, or because we’ve been “talking” here on my blog and I have a good feeling about letting you read, just raise your hand and the waitress will serve you. 😉

Just thought I’d mention that before the password protected stuff pops up. 🙂

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50 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. snowinthenights
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 12:48:54

    I’d love to keep on reading your posts. 🙂 *raise hand*

  2. nobodysreadingme
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 13:27:35

    If you’re happy with me reading then I’m happy reading. Raises hand.
    And good luck and best wishes whatever you decide.
    I’m pulling for you.
    🙂

    • Lola
      Jan 24, 2013 @ 14:41:37

      Thanks. And you’ve got mail. 🙂

      • nobodysreadingme
        Jan 24, 2013 @ 14:51:43

        Bing bong.
        thanks for trusting me.

        • Lola
          Jan 24, 2013 @ 19:29:11

          Thanks for being interested. 🙂

          • nobodysreadingme
            Jan 25, 2013 @ 10:22:15

            It’s all to do with the ‘not ignoring you or being dsigusted by you’ thing Your blog is often hard work, not because it’s badly written, but because it’s so well written and painful.

            I’d feel a hypocrite not to show interest, however uneasy it makes me feel that I could, to the untutored eye, come across as some creep. You know I’m not, I know I’m not, and your mum knows I’m not. It still feels a bit odd at times.

            But as I said, if you’re happy to let me read it, I’m happy to read it.

  3. prideinmadness
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 15:47:21

    There are some things that I do not talk about on my blog (it’s mostly because there are important people in my life who do not know about the situation) so it’s understandable if you don’t want to share everything! Take your time 🙂

  4. Grainne
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 17:01:31

    I’m very new here (just found you yesterday) but I also have a sexually abusive past, PTSD and attachment issues …. I think I might relate well and would be thankful if you allow me to follow along. I do understand if you wish to keep the most personal information to your close followers, however, so feel no way about telling me no. 🙂

    • Lola
      Jan 24, 2013 @ 19:22:11

      I looked around your blog yesterday, too, and found quite a few things I can relate to as well. I mailed you the password. 🙂

  5. lostservice22
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 17:08:45

    If you are comfortable with my reading what you have to say I would be honored to continue to follow you on this journey. trust me I have recently learned how hard it is just to write down the words to describe what happened, never mind letting some one else read it. you are so very brave.

  6. Bekka - InsideOut
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 18:52:57

    I’d Love to hear more about your journey on that topic meg (:

  7. kat
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 20:20:10

    raising hand 🙂

  8. gypsy116
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 21:43:21

    Hand raised 🙂

  9. Diversity is Art
    Jan 25, 2013 @ 18:47:57

    Good to know, I don’t know if my comments here are enough for me to ask for the password, I would like to read your posts if it’s okay.

  10. Chatte Nocturne
    Jan 27, 2013 @ 22:57:44

    I’d appreciate it if I could read your protected posts. (raises hand)

  11. AmendaT (@AmendaT)
    Feb 11, 2013 @ 11:30:07

    If you would allow, I would like to follow your sexual healing journeys 🙂

    Btw, subscribed because you’ll need my email for it. No hard feelings, I’m just a more private person so I usually follow without following ^^

  12. shainawhite
    Apr 01, 2013 @ 09:37:26

    I have been reading your posts about your history of abuse and I’m relieved and of course saddened that there are others who are trying to overcome family incest problems and that I’m not alone in this, it’s unfortunate but I support you in your journey for healing. I’ve been on this road a while. I have post traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, depression and seizures caused by stress. I’m only eighteen but the guilt and memories of my abuse that have been locked away since I was a child have buried me, suffocating me. The memories themselves are intense and shameful. Thank you for your blog it has been enormously helpful for me to realize and understand the sexual abuse and myself. I’m considering reading this book, your blog wouldn’t allow me to read any other parts I think it needed a password, I guess I will have to buy the book. Just wanted to say that I appreciate this blog and thank you.

    • Lola
      Apr 04, 2013 @ 16:38:13

      Nice to meet you, Shaina and thank you for stopping by and commenting. I’m sorry you’re a survivor, too. I know what a painful journey it can be. Don’t forget that you are not alone, and that the shame is on the abusers, not on us. The password protected posts are my sexual healing journey posts, my mom’s book is yet to come out. Let me know if you’d like the password for the sexual healing journey posts, but beware, it’s intense stuff and may be triggering. Take care! 🙂

  13. Gamsol In Distress
    Jun 12, 2013 @ 23:01:17

    I would like to continue this journey with you, but only if you are comfortable with it. I know a lot of this is really deep stuff. I am new to this blog, but I have been trying to read from the beginning. I really just wish I could give you a big hug and tell you that everything will be alright. I have struggled with my own issues (which I wish to remain private at this time) and your determination to get well and have a better life is inspiring. Thank you for writing this blog. Once again, if you are alright with it, I would love to continue with you on this incredible journey. 🙂

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